The Worst Horror Titles on Amazon Prime

If you haven’t already checked out my list of the best horror titles on Amazon Prime, I started it off by noting that there are really not too many to choose from. Finally, I did end up with a very respectable list of titles to recommend, but what my perusal of over 200 pages of Prime’s horror titles revealed was that one of Amazon’s hidden gems is the trove of (what I assume are) absolutely horrible movies.

I’m not 100 percent sure if all of them are actually horror movies, or if they are just non-categorized T&A flicks that happen to have a vaguely horror-ish vibe, but Amazon seems to think they are horror, which is good enough for me.

Now to be fair, I haven’t seen anything on this list, so be sure to let me know in the comments if you’ve seen any of these of titles. I have to assume that at least some of them are worth watching just because they are so, so terrible. I’ve also included the brief summaries provided by Amazon, just in case the titles alone aren’t enough to pique your interest.


The Biker Warrior Babe vs. The Zombie Babies from Hell

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

“A botched demon summoning causes three high school friends to become the de facto saviors of their home, Cranberry Lake. It’s a race against time to correct the ritual before a legion of demonic zombie babies eat the entire town.”

Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

RUNNER UP: DUMBEST TITLE

“Johnny Blake is a man haunted by his past and dedicated to the destruction of the dark forces. But when three beautiful sisters – the spawn of a demon – seek to control Johnny’s mind, body and his very soul, he must save not only himself but also the world from these bewitching sirens.”

Bonejangles

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: WORST PUN

“While transporting the legendary serial killer Bonejangles to an asylum, a group of police officers break down in a town cursed with demons and zombies. The only way they can survive the night and save the town is to release Bonejangles to help them fight the curse, with something much worse.”

The Dark Side of the Womb

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

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RUNNER UP: WORST PUN

“A dwarf named Ed falls in love with a big woman named Linda. When Linda is murdered by her ex-boyfriend-turned-killer-clown, Ed mutilates her corpse with a kitchen knife and climbs into her womb to be ‘born again.’”

Deathgasm

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

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WINNER: DUMBEST TITLE

“Two high school metalheads play a forbidden piece of music that unlocks the gates of hell. Now the two headbangers and a metal maiden must join forces to save their town from a demonic onslaught.”

Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: WTF AWARD

“Singled out and seduced by the maniacal minions of Satan himself, the Bombshell from Brooklyn is taken to the fiery pits of Beelzebub’s lascivious lair. And there, from the bowels of Hell, comes the bloodcurdling command: ‘Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell!’”

The Halloween Store Zombie Wedding Movie

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

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WINNER: MOST LITERAL TITLE

“Chris, a newly unemployed junior TV reporter finds a ‘marketing’ job at the Halloween Store, and is taken under the wing of Amanda, the zombie wedding planner who soon finds out that they may be better suited for each other than Chris and his pretentious, weathergirl, [sic] girlfriend. But when they get locked in the Halloween store on Halloween night, they really get to know each other.”

Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: BEST CONCEPT

“When a tiny village is attacked by Nightwolves… one woman decided to fight back! This is the real story about Helen Keller that government doesn’t want you to know!”

Hellitosis: The Legend of Stankmouth

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: FUNNIEST TITLE

WINNER: GROSSEST POSTER

“He creeps… He crawls… He sh*ts! And when five unsuspecting people stumble upon his domain, he sets out on a quest for victims, leaving a trail of unspeakable (and stinky) carnage in his wake. He’s Stankmouth, and he’s a crazed killer with a unique physical condition that gives new meaning to the term “potty mouth” in this instant gross-out classic.”

I Was a Teenage Wereskunk

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: HIGHEST RATED FILM IN THIS LIST. 4.5 STARS ON AMAZON AND 7/10 ON IMDB.

NO REALLY.

“A loving, comedy homage to 1950s monster movies.”

IBS: Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: NO. JUST, NO.

“Larry the loveable [sic] loser can’t get over his intense irritable bowel syndrome. He spends his days locked inside his bedroom fantasizing about his sexy co-worker Heather while dreaming he is leading the playboy lifestyle of his wild roommate Buddy. After a workplace mishap where he finds that murder cures all, Larry kills everyone in his path to try to to seal the deal with his dream girl.”

Junk Bonds: The Return of Junkbucket

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

“A sequel to the underground hit “Junkbucket,” Junk Bonds picks up as Junkbucket, the facially deformed and murderous monster has found himself a family of cannibals to join him in his quest to mutilate most of Western Washington.”

Killer Piñata

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: BEST POSTER THAT LOOKS LIKE IT IS FROM A MUCH HIGHER BUDGET MOVIE

“A possessed piñata, seeking to avenge the savagery that humanity has inflicted on his kind, picks off a group of friends, one by one, in an unending night of terror.”

Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

“Lo Lieh is after Billy Chong because he believes the book in his possession will make him invulnerable. He sends his evil priest to seek black magic and to fight, while Billy uses the book to conjure up ghosts for help. AKA ‘Yin Ji’”

Meat for Satan’s Icebox

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

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“Mislead, wayward teens, Cindy and Christian, wind up in the remote town of Satan Place. They try to escape, but end up in the local slaughterhouse where they’re held captive by cannibalistic workers hungry for their flesh. The slaughterhouse of Satan Place is where those who can afford it come to devour the young, like a deli from hell!”

Moist Fury

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

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WINNER: MOST MOISTEST

“When their best fighter, Dewback, is killed, the Queafs must exact bloody vengeance!”

Porkchop 2: Rise of the Rind

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

RUNNER UP: MOST UNLIKELY SEQUEL

When young Simon Robertson moves to a new town, he thinks the biggest peril will be the local bullies. Unfortunately, Simon’s new friend Meg informs him that the town has a much darker secret: a body count stretching into the hundreds – courtesy of Porkchop, a deranged madman with a pig mask. It’s still not safe to go back in the woods!”

Psyched by the 4D Witch

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

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“Novice witch Cindy is transported into a world of safe sex by the voice of Abigail from the 17th century.”

Return to Blood Fart Lake

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER: MOST UNLIKELY SEQUEL

“Many years have passed since the tragic events at Blood Fart Lake, where Jimmy dispatched a bunch of party going, cabin dwelling kids before he could be stopped by Ben Scrivens & his red neck pal. Now Jimmy has returned, this time preying on a group of Spirit Hunters searching for the truth to his killings and Ben must track down Leo before they’re added to his list of victims!”

Terror at Blood Fart Lake

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

“When a group of college kids head off to their friend’s cabin for a little high octane sex weekend they will get more than they bargained for in the form of the evil Scarecrow killer, Jimmy Van Brunt. Seems like no body [sic] is safe at spooky cabins in the woods by the lake these days.”

Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space

Worst horror titles on Amazon Prime

Watch it here.

WINNER – THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACE FOR JANEANE GAROFALO TO POP UP

RUNNER UP – THE SECOND MOST UNLIKELY PLACE FOR DAVE HILL TO POP UP

Three werewolf women from Uranus travel to Earth to rid New York City of terrible people. They must face off against clueless art critics (Janeane Garofalo and Dave Hill), religious fanatics, corporate suits, (John S. Hall and Todd Seavey) and Freegans. Bumbling officers Fremulum and Hymen, teen Candy, (Rachel Trachtenburg) and a crazy drunk, (Robert Prichard) join the fun.”


Let me know in the comments if I’ve missed any terrible horror titles on Amazon Prime, or if you managed to get through any of the movies listed above.

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